My Views on Finding A Master

I am adding this to my blog because both Wiz and I thought that it could be helpful for others and because it gives some incite into my feelings and thoughts on how to approach a new D/s relationship.

This all started because of a question that was posted at the Academy the question was how do you find a good Master or what to avoid. Here is my thoughts, feelings and experiences with it.

Before coming to the Academy I had experienced the chat rooms and other forums. I found some nice people but it was never what I was looking for. I also ran into so many of the "players" before coming here. People demanding my submission and expecting respect. I started having serious doubts about being a submissive and about my thoughts on submission. I thought that since I wouldn't allow myself to submit to these "bullies" that I wasn't a real submissive. Since being at the academy this hasn't been a problem but at first I protected myself from this. I didn't let myself get to know anyone, I didn't get involved with any of the conversations and all I would do is task and put everything I had into that.

I now know that my feelings and thoughts about submission aren't wrong and that there are so many different ways to submit, none of them wrong. Its easy to doubt yourself when you have someone telling you that if you don't do this then your not really submissive but in fact its really the other way around if they were truly Dominant then they would respect your boundaries. I have went through these feelings again since then at the Academy but it was easier to deal with, because I had supportive friends to lean on and to reassure me that I in fact was a good submissive. I think that to be happy in any relationship you have to find someone who shares your simular thoughts and views.

Before becoming TheWiz666's submissive I was his friend. I have been his friend a lot longer then I have been his submissive and as his submissive I am always his friend first. He helped me heal from my last relationship and has always been there for me, offering his comfort and support. So when I was strong enough to move on, it only made sense to offer my submission to him. He is what I want in a dominant. I found myself drawn to him wanting to submit to him and please him. I want nothing more then to show him the same love and devotion he shows me.

Before I offered myself to him we talked about what he expected of me, the things that pleased him and the things that pleased me but the most important thing we discussed was that we didn't want our D/s relationship to effect our friendship in a negative way and that no matter what we would both always put our friendship first. I think the most important things when looking for a new Dominant is to build a friendship first, learn about each other, find out about each others wants and expectations and then if you feel the connection, offer your submission to them.

I know that this isn't always the easiest thing to achieve and that after being in a relationship and feeling the closeness you get from it, it is hard to take the time to get to know a new person when all you really want to do is feel the closeness again and to show your submission to another but without knowing each other you are setting yourself up for a hard relationship and possible failure.

These are of course only my views and thoughts and what has worked best for me. I hope that by sharing this it helps someone else.

Curious