Emotional Breakdown   

Last night I had to deal with some intense emotionalness, I was playing with 666 and when it ended I felt completely drained and very emotional. It started early in the night, after a while of us not having the chance to play these last 2 weeks where we have been able to have been great, full of flirting teasing & hornyness. Our night started out with me sending him a teasing pic of what I was wearing. He loves nighties and I picked one out special for him. 

He slowly worked me up into a horny submissive frenzy, having me slap in random places & crawl back and forth to get my toys one at a time. It didn't take long for me to feel my cunt reacting, tingling (I am sure the slaps didn't help) and eventually dripping, from humiliation I am sure. When he asked me to check to see how needy my cunt was I was surprised to find out that not only did 3 fingers fit but 4 did, although it was a little uncomfortable. This is a huge deal for me as I am super tight and often have issues fitting more then 2 in comfortably. 

Very Wet

We played hard which is typical for us as I am very much a pain slut. So its no surprise that our night was filled with clips and clamps as well as tugging and slapping. He loves to make me moan and squirm in pain and if he can get me to shed a tear his cock will surely twitch. I was quite turned on with clothespins on my nipples, which after the intense play we had a few days before were still very sensitive. He also had me place my nipple clamps w/chain on my cunt lips and then let me fuck my needy cunt with my pink vibrator. 

This is where things started to change as I was allowed to play I became closer and closer to the edge. You may or may not know that I have problems cumming, and when I say problems cumming what I really mean is that I haven't ever been able to and in my mind just can't. A few days ago I had been tweeting with mollykissdaily and dlcsafts about my little problem and was trying to keep there tips in mind. It did help, I was super turned on and probably got closer to the edge then I have ever been but sadly, No I did not break the barrier. 


After calming down, the emotional rush hit. This happens every single time that I get remotely close to the big O .. its tough for me, and many times I feel like crying. This alone is enough to keep me from trying to over come my issue. I honestly don't know what it is, maybe my body reacting to being so close but denied but I really think its my submissive side showing through. I had extreme feelings of submissiveness this time. It hit me that he make me so happy and very fulfilled, but I felt at that moment that I didn't please him as much as I would like to. Its important to me to make him happy, I want to fulfill his needs. I want to make him cum every time we play and for him to be happy and pleased with me always. Of course as we talked he assured me that through my submission I please him regardless of him cumming or not but I still felt badly. 


For me this is still very hard to swallow. I have this deep need to please him and feeling that I am not is just not acceptable. I am sure that I am not the only one to have felt this way, anyone else have these issues or any idea why I am having them please feel free to comment.